Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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