he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
