apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
