I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
whose ass print is on the piano?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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