So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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