your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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