Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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