I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When did we convert life to cartoon?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
