I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
