Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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