My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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