So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
