I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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