My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
