when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The adults are the big ones right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
