K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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