how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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