If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the raccoons are back...
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