it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The feeling are messing with the penis
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
