So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
