Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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