Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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