I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
