Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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