woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize