I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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