Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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