69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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