Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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