Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
