By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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