I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
