Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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