Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
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please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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