He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
