I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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