I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
People with herpes should wear stickers.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
