i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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