I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize