he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
