Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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