none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
