I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen