Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
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Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low