dude i'm inner monologue high
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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