i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites