Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere