i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
