im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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