Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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