i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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