So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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