The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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