Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
