i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
