Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize