But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
