I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize